Personality traits that attract men
As you know if you’ve ever worn a sexy or revealing dress, men can be drawn in solely by the physical appearance of a woman. But from what I’ve learned, men don’t settle down with women for these reasons. A man will settle down with a woman because of her personality, how she makes him feel, and how she interacts, even with strangers, on a personal and social level.
What I’m getting at is that there are two types of attraction that need to be around for things to get really serious with a man: “Physical Attraction” and “Intellectual Attraction”. I’ve spent years observing, studying and thinking about this, and I’ve come to the conclusion that these are the answers to both the questions “What attracts men?” and “What interests them in a longer term relationship?”.
“Physical Attraction” is the most obvious because it’s about external stuff. Physical attraction is what happens when women say “that guy is really hot”, or when a man just starts flirting with you out of nowhere at a bar. This attraction usually comes from body language, looks, and style.
On the other hand, “Intellectual Attraction” has little to do with looks or the appearance of things. It most often comes about as a result of a man seeing and identifying for himself something special and unique in a woman’s personality. This attraction usually comes from indications of high status (which includes voice, posture, attitude, and the way other people position themselves around you). It also includes things like a sense of humor, confidence, and unpredictability.
And here’s a crucial point: a man can’t experience Intellectual Attraction for a woman if he sees her as someone who’s not equal to him. And if a man sees a woman as being higher status, then the attraction can be even more intensified.
When a man experiences this kind of attraction for a woman, he separates her from all the other women in his mind and she becomes someone unique and special that instantly has his respect and admiration. And these are thoughts that don’t usually take hold for men because of any physical attraction.
BOTH these types of attraction are NECESSARY ingredients to any successful dating situation and ongoing relationship. Other things can come and go, but if both these attractions stay strong then the other things going on have 100 times more probability of working out.
I’m going to describe the particular personalities that naturally attract men. But before I do that, I’d like to talk about some of these different behaviors and personality traits associated with Intellectual Attraction. Some are better when used in combination with others, and some don’t work well together. Here’s a list with brief descriptions. I’ll talk about how to combine these later.
- Sense of humor. Being funny and witty is just plain powerful with men. If you keep him laughing, things will naturally keep escalating.
- Intelligence and creativity. Intelligence is sexy if it’s used in a way that it interesting. Use your intelligence and creativity to surprise him with concepts, fantasies, and unexpected things that are charming and fun.
- Thoughtful. Men don’t like to be over-appreciated, have things bought for them, or kissed up to. But if you can let a man know that you were thinking about him in a way that doesn’t say “I’m lonely and I need you”, then he’ll love it. Send him a short witty email and let him know that he’s on your mind.
- Perceptive or noticing details. Men love to be noticed. If he’s really good at something, into some sport, or smart in some particular area, they USE these to be important and attractive. Men are impressed by women who notice things about them that make them unique.
- Adventurous. Men have an automatic bonding system when they have some kind of adventure with another person. So men are instantly drawn to women who suggest and take part in extreme, adventurous, unusual, or even dangerous things. The excitement of the activity transfers over to his perspective of your being an exciting and sexy woman.
- Confident/Playful. Men are magnetically attracted to women who are just a little bit too playful or cocky. Just a little. Some women take a bitchy and distant, and kind of cold attitude which isn’t what I’m talking about. If you watch Renee Russo in the Thomas Crown Affair or Kelly McGillis in Top Gun you’ll see what I’m talking about. Being assertive with a touch of arrogance humor will make you magical in a man’s eyes.
- Talents & Knowledge. If you’ve got something that you’re an expert in, it can be really attractive. Bring it up with a man in a way that says, “hey, check this out, this is interesting…” and then do something that surprises him. Don’t do it in a way that says, “I’m really smart and cool.”
- Attention. Men like attention. It’s strange how it works too. It’s better to hint that you’re giving them attention than to just do it. Say to a man, “I was thinking about the way you spoke earlier, and I just want to say how much I love the sound of your voice.” Doing that is much more powerful than just sitting there and listening to him and staring into his eyes and hoping that he feels the connection and gets that you like his voice.
- Being A Challenge. Men pursue women often, but lots of times when a woman likes a man, she’ll start pursuing him – sometimes without even knowing that she’s doing it. If you’re relaxed and casual with a man that might like you or that you like, and call him and tell him that you’re bored by what he’s been doing lately and that he needs to entertain you, and you do it in a playful way, then he’ll often do his best to do something to get your attention. Let him know that he needs to do something spectacular or else you’re disinterested. It can drive men crazy, but they really love it. Yeah, this can be bratty, but the right touch of brat (without the snobby high-maintenance stuff) is just what you’re after.
- Aggressive (Just a touch). Men love to see women who can go after something in their life and not be deterred and frustrated by it. And I’m not talking about going after a man. I’m talking about a goal or something in the woman’s own personal life.
- Assertive. Men are used to being the leader. So if a woman is assertive and confident in any social situation, it is a sign to men that she knows how to make things happen. Seeing an assertive woman can be refreshing and intriguing for a man.
Although men tend to take the lead, men also love women who can lead.
- Teasing, Tension & Sexual Mastery. It’s no secret that men love sex. But just like life, a good lover isn’t easy to find. Men instantly become addicted to skillful lovers, especially if they can tease them and taunt them a little. If you make a man wait, build suspense and tension, and always make the tempo of things go a little slower than he wants, it will drive a man crazy.
- Unpredictable/Predictable. Men are drawn to women who they can’t control or predict. They obsess over women who flirt, give them attention, and then don’t feel the need to talk the next day. Predictability is only attractive when it comes to choosing a wife. BUT… a man, as strange as it sounds, wants to see a woman as unpredictable in the beginning of a relationship. Predictability has a place when the relationship beings to evolve into something more serious, but even then there needs to be a element of unpredictability.