Neediness & insecurity

Let me put it to you straight about men.

The #1 thing that drives men crazy and scares them off when you’re dating is neediness and insecurity. And while most women don’t see their behavior as being like this, it’s the most common turn-off men have when they’re dating women.

A woman acts needy and insecure when she feels unsure of herself or what she’s doing—or when she feels like a man is doing something that could hurt her. Everybody feels this way in life sometimes. Hey, I’ve been there. But when you let the insecurities take over and look to a man’s opinion or a relationship to validate you and your feelings, it’s like expecting money to make you happy. You might get some “cheap thrills” and temporarily change your short term emotions and situation, but long term nothing about YOU has really changed.

Ok, so enough preaching…. Let’s get back to attraction and how neediness and insecurity are the absolute attraction repellants.

Men have highly sensitive “radar” for clingy, needy, and insecure behavior. A woman’s tone of voice, body language or words can quickly tell a man about clingy or insecure feelings a woman is having. Worst of all, when a man picks up on this it often has long term effects on the potential he sees for a relationship with a woman.

Once a guy sees needy behavior in a woman it usually starts to cloud the way he sees everything about her. That neediness stays in his mind as the context to most of the interactions he has with her and her behavior from fun social events to close intimate moments.

Worst of all, it does more to kill ATTRACTION for a man than almost anything else.

Here are some examples of neediness and insecurity:

• Hanging on a man or touching him too much, especially in public. If you are constantly taking the initiative to be in physical contact with a man he’ll eventually take it as clingy behavior. Instead, if you want to touch him, save it for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.

• Talking or saying negative things about other women. When women call other women names like slut, bitch, crazy it doesn’t impress a man or make him see something new. Lots of women often do this when they see a good looking and attractive women, or with women they know their guy is attracted to. Guys aren’t impressed by this. They’ll think you’re just covering up your own insecurities and looking for validation and attention.
• Talking or saying all kinds of nasty things about your past boyfriends and past relationships. Doing this reflects on you more negatively than you might think. It also makes a man think you’re insecure and that you have “baggage”. All this spells

ISSUES from the past relationships that he knows will be a pain for him to deal with.

• Acting overly emotional. If a man sees that you get rattled, upset, or frustrated too easily he’ll see you as insecure and he’ll think that you’ll do this to him as well—this will scare him away from you.
• Trying too hard for attention is a turn-off. When women try to act too sexy, too funny, too cool, or too smart they end up looking stupid and men think they’re uncomfortable with who they are. Don’t do it. If you’re any of these things, he’ll notice you in a negative way. The best way to get noticed is to be subtle and suggestive.